Free Verse · Free verse Poetry · Love · love poem · love quote · micropoetry · Poetry · sadness · words

Forgetting you, 10 years from now 

I often wonder
If maybe
Trying to forget you
Was in vain,

If maybe
I shouldn’t have tried
So hard
To erase every trace of you
From my mind,

If maybe
I should not have wasted
Away my ears
Listening to loud music
That blocked my thoughts
Swarming around your name.

Because
Even after
Having used
So much of my energy
In trying to move on,

What if
Maybe
10 years from now
My last thoughts
Before falling asleep
Would still be of your face
And how I longed to see it
Just once more.

And I’d realize
That somehow
I still could not
Get rid of you

depression · Free Verse · Free verse Poetry · Love · love poem · love quote · Poem · Poetry · prose · sadness

A Heart Turned Black

wp-1480257216208.jpgI wrote over the lines on my heart
Where your name was heavily scribbled,
Replacing each letter with ink
That turned my hand black.
I erased memories and feelings,
Burying them deep underneath,
Hidden away,
So they never threaten to resurface again.

I repeatedly scrawled over
All that was you
And filled in all the empty spaces.
Like a patched up quilt,
I colored each gaping hole
Where missing pieces once resided;
Pieces that didn’t belong to you
But you took anyway.

When I was done
I stepped back
And took a moment
To admire my masterpiece .
I noticed my hand
Which was now all black
Much like my heart
And with no trace of you.

Free verse Poetry · Love · love poem · love quote · Poem · Poetry · Uncategorized

Walls And How They Fall

The walls you’ve built
Will come tumbling down one day
And you’ll feel helpless
Like a child
Reaching for things
With too small arms
And failing.
You’ll wonder
How it got to this
How those walls you intricately built
Could come crashing down so easily.
But here’s the thing,
It wasn’t easy
It wasn’t easy to bring them down
Like it wasn’t easy to put them up.
And I pray for once
That you’d let them stay down,
And I promise
It won’t be too bad
When you’ll see
That someone can finally look in
At who you really are,
And love you for it.

Love · prose · quote · ramblings · self love · Uncategorized · Writing

Appreciate Yourself

You don’t have to be soft and fragile and sweet, you can be hard and edgy and bitter. I know your eye lashes aren’t long enough and your eyes don’t exactly hhsparkle. Your skin flakes and your lips get chapped; you’re all kinds of flaws bundled into a package. You laugh loud and sit awkwardly and put flowers in your hair to make yourself feel pretty. You ask yourself questions you can’t answer, you lie to yourself too. You break hearts including your own again and again. You cry ugly then wipe your own tears.
So what if your eyes don’t hold stars and your smile is kinda wonky? So what if you don’t talk a lot and have a few friends? So what if you’re a hopeless romantic and he doesn’t want you? You’re bitten nails and messy hair and an unhealthy addiction to chocolate. There’s no other way to be you. You’re fucking art, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

 

Originally posted on instagram: https://www.instagram.com/p/BMrVcqwDWm-/

Free Verse · Free verse Poetry · Love · mother · Poetry · Uncategorized

Dearest Mother

Dearest mother,
forgive me
for the flaws in my words,
as I scrape through the walls of my brain,
shifting around things that matter nothing,
and find inspiration to write for
the one thing that matters most to me;
you.

Dearest mother,
without my consent
I was brought into this world,
a crying blubbering mess;
and somehow you managed to make me love
every second of it.
Even when I didn’t I still did, for you;
to repay you
for bringing me here,
so I could meet you.
And I am forever thankful for that.

Dearest mother,
with each tear you wiped,
You took away a bit of my loneliness,
a bit of my despair.
And even though you knew
everything wouldn’t be okay,
you still told me it would,
so I believed you,
and nothing ever felt better,
because I knew you could be strong enough,
for the both of us.

Dearest mother,
I’m sorry for the nights I cried myself to sleep
without letting you know.
I only did because
I couldn’t bear to see the worry lines
crease your forehead,
as you’d forget about your health,
and worry for mine instead.

Dearest mother,
Thank you for being my source of encouragement,
on days when I couldn’t find in me to carry on.
You picked me up, each little broken piece at a time,
and glued them back together.
Hurting your self in the process
on my sharp edges,
you filled empty spaces, pieces lost,
with your own broken remnants
again and again,
eventually so tightly mended,
they’d never come apart again.

Dearest mother,
I know I’m not the best,
and am far from perfect.
I know I make mistakes,
and break your heart often.
But know everything I do is for you;
everything I am is because of you.
I know, I’ve changed colors
because of many things,
but the brightest shade in me
is still the one left by you,
and it grows brighter still.

 Dearest mother,
on days when death crosses my mind
far too many times than it should,
it’s your face that gives me reason
and strength, to carry on,
however hard it may get.
Because you are my anchor,
and as long as I’m tethered to you,
I shall never sink.

Dearest mother,
I want you to promise to never leave me.
Even when you are no longer here,
and I’m no longer here,
I want you to continue flowering within me.
I know how lonely those days are
when you aren’t home
and gone for the day to tend to duties.
It would kill me to know
that one day I might not have you
to come home to
permanently.

Dearest mother,
lastly, I would like to thank you,
for all that you have endured for me
and will continue to do
for as long as I live.
And no matter how difficult it may be,
I will try, with all my heart,
to return the favor one day.

Dearest mother,
I know I don’t tell you often,
but know I’ve never meant anything more
when I say
I love you.06e5bfc3c36b7370613414065d12cd6e

Free Verse · Free verse Poetry · Love · Poetry · prose · ramblings · sadness

I was okay being alone

I was okay being alone, till I was the only one alone.

Literally,
I had enough people around me.
Someone to ask how I’d been lately,
because they’d been too busy to make time to see me.
Someone to ask me if I had attended class,
So they could borrow notes they’d missed,
while spending time with someone else.
Someone to ask for my opinion on presents,
because they needed ideas,
for a birthday gift
I wouldn’t get.

Literally,
I was not alone.
Figuratively,
I was more than it.

Best friend told
not to wait for the walk home from school
because she’ll be walking home with the boy
she tried to attain all month,
and eventually succeeded.

Other best friend cut conversations short,
because it was time for boyfriend to come home from work,
so she could spend the next endless hours talking to him.

Meet up plan cancelled with another,
because “just a friend” was turning 18,
and a pre birthday celebration was due.

Just a series of
Empty desks,
Changed lab partners,
Forlorn walks home,
Lost conversations;
Shifting priorities.

Lonely nights,
charged with caffeine,
the diary
held so dear
no longer fulfilling
the need for a listening ear,
the pillow
no longer making up
for desired physical affection.

Not quite understanding what it meant
to have someone fall for you,
to sweep you off your feet
then catch you too.

Wondering if it all really was worth,
losing friends over.

Wondering if I’d ever know.

I was okay being alone, till I was the only one alone.