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A Letter to Myself

Hey there,
I’m not going to fill this letter with sappy over-the-top lines we all know to be rarely true. However, I do promise to be very honest with you.

I need you to know that no matter what you do and how you are, I will always love you. Some days I might love you less, and some days more, but I need you to know I’ll still be loving you somewhere in the corner of my mind.

I know that you have many things that you do not consider right for yourself. I know that you have bad days, and that sometimes you do not try as hard as you should. I know that sometimes you think too much and it kills you, and sometimes you hold yourself back from things that you should be doing. I know sometimes negative thoughts over power you, and sometimes you just do not want to try. I know. I know all that, and despite everything, you are still my favorite human being.

I think that even though your face is not the best, and your body is very far from being even remotely that, I’m glad that you are finally learning to look past your physical appearance. I know that sometimes insecurities get the better of you, and sometimes you feel awful about yourself. I know you get jealous easily about how other girls can look flawless without even trying, and I know how hard you try. I know and I need you to know that you are beautiful in your own self.

I like that you are one of the strongest people I’ve met. You have a remarkably strong will. Despite what you tell yourself, I know that you are deep down very ambitious and there are many things you want to achieve in life. I don’t promise that all of them will come true, but I do promise to help you as much as I can along the way and together we’ll try our best to turn them into your reality. Everybody has lazy days, and sometimes it’s okay to have them. Just remember not to lose sight of what you see for yourself in the future, and I pray to God that for you it becomes true.

Even though I hate to see what you become on your bad days, I need you to know that they do not define you. You can be weak. And though some days you break down into inconsolable tears, it’s alright to let it out sometimes and it does not make you any less. I know sometimes you cannot help but be negative about everything, and I know how life pushes you a lot to the extent where it gets hard for you to cope. But I promise that you will also see good days and on those days you’ll realize that continuing with this life is the best thing you could have done for yourself. I hope that you will be happy. I can’t guarantee complete carefree days but I can promise to help you along the way as much as I can.

I know that you are very independent and strong minded, and I understand and respect that, but you must also know that some days it’s okay to let other people in, it’s okay to let them know what you’re going through, and it’s okay to allow them to grieve and heal with you. It doesn’t have to ‘fix’ anything, but I can tell you, you will feel much better knowing that someone besides me also cares enough to understand and stand by your side.

And when it comes to meeting your ‘soul mate’, if you are lucky enough to find them, you need to know that they may not be how you imagined them to be. They may be completely different to what you pictured. But for that I’ll need you to trust in God, for what He has done for you is right for you. And everything will work out, even if it’s not exactly as you wanted it to.

And if you do decide to give your all to that person, promise me you will not lose who you are. You will grow with them, but you will not forget your roots.

However,  if you happen to never meet that someone, you will not ruin yourself over it. You are much more than you think and you will get by without someone constantly by your side, as you have for so many years. I know that your heart has been broken, multiple times too, and I know that your heart will be broken a lot of times in the future, but I need you to understand that it will be okay.

Lastly, I hope you never lose the friends that you have today because I know you cherish them a lot. Even on your worse days they can make your day bearable without knowing it. It’s because of them you smile a little wider sometimes, and your eyes shine a little brighter. As long as you have them by your side, I promise you that life will not be as bad as you think.

I hope that you keep all this in mind whenever you start to doubt yourself or doubt the plan that God has laid out for you. Though, it may not feel right now that any of this is even remotely correct, one day I hope with all my heart that everything I’ve written here starts to make sense.

For now, just lay back a bit, try to relax, let things come easy, and everything will be okay.


2 thoughts on “A Letter to Myself

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